Why did I design a room in monochrome?

My mother hurt me very badly recently.  I don't know that we've ever been what you'd call close, but I've tried my hardest to be there for her when she needed someone.  I found out I need heart surgery the same time frame that she told me she helps my (much younger) brother financially and not me because he lives closer to her.  I'm on full disability, due to severe PTSD from assault.  My brother has a job making $18 an hour.  Granted, he has two boys to take care of, but still.

This room is how I feel.